I stayed in all day yesterday.
It rained on and off like it will today.
I watched Orion make a hole in the rain clouds over Medville to remind me that I am not alone. I stared at the surreal space and blackness as my eyes do not understand infinite space and distance, preferring to see a vault… no, not even, just a ceiling that sometimes sparkles.
I poured myself towards that hunter acrobat, willing my heart and fears to calm down.
My poor heart leaps and hesitates in his distress. He is not a lion’s heart but more a rabbit’s, spooked by noises and shadows, toothless dragons and ghosts.
I try to give her space when she is troubled.
I pretend to make my own way, walk my own path, going from rocks to bushes, reading the night air and the many scents that flood my nose.
She sometimes stops walking when I do and waits. That’s when she gets lost looking at the sky and its points of light. She just stands in the middle of the street as if she sees something interesting or may be dangerous.
I don’t know what it is. I keep an eye on her. You never know.
Every once in a while I hide in the shadows until she realizes that she is alone and looks for me. I don’t let her fret; when she makes a noise, I come.
She thinks I ignore her on our late night walks, when the leash is off, but I don’t. I’m always watching and checking that the world is safe… That’s why I worry when she climbs into the box that moves and leaves the house.
But she always comes back so it must be safe.
When she walks away and goes down the hill, I try to stop her. I beg her to take me with her, but she never listens. She is a stubborn people.
I call her as long as I can smell her in the air… She has no clue of how dangerous it is. She doesn’t see that territory needs to be secured and understood before romping about.
She worries me.
It is late now. She is still sitting in the dark looking at the sky as if expecting something.
I drop my bone at her feet.
She doesn’t see it… Like I don’t see dogs I don’t want to talk to.
I shove it on her lap…
I want her to come back, to smile and talk to me.
Tell me I am a good dog.